Sunday, September 25, 2005

Nobel Nomination for ground breaking theory

"Scientific Validation by Supposition and Assertion"

As you might have already heard, the Nobel Prize committee has announced the nomination of Professor Frank Enstein(PhD) for the Nobel Prize in Theoretical Physics. Professor Enstein is one of the world's most renowned researchers in the field of Theoretical Mathematics and Physics. Personally, the Professor is also a very good friend of mine. Here is what the Professor had to say about his ground breaking theory "Scientific Validation by Supposition and Assertion".

Me: "Hello Professor, how are you doing today?"
Enstein: "I'm doing very well, thank you my friend."
Me: "Professor, could you please explain your new theory in laymen's terms?"
Enstein: "Most definitely! In fact, if it were not for the scientifically challenged minds of this world, I would never have discovered the truth of this theory. If anything, this theory is a tribute to ordinary people everywhere."
Me: "Most intriguing! Please, tell me more."
Enstein: "The basic hypothesis is this: In the absence of corroborating factual information, any scientific theory proposed and asserted by atleast 9% of a population of average individuals, is the truth."
Me: "WOW! That is incredible. This theory could change the world as we know it!"
Enstein: "Indeed! Which is why it is vital that this theory be integrated, as soon as possible, into our education curriculum."
Me: "Yes, but doesn't your theory have to be proved first?"
Enstein: "I am confident that it will be proved. Because, unlike regular scientific theories, this one will be understood and asserted by the non-scientific community first. The scientific community will then just accept the theory."
Me: "Wait, isn't that like the opposite of what usually happens?"
Enstein: "Yes, it is. Like you said, this theory changes everything."
Me: "Wow, this is really deep stuff!"
Enstein: "Yes, the implications are profound indeed."
Me: "What immediate implications do you see Profressor?"
Enstein: "In the short term I expect a quite bit of chaos as the scientific community struggles to come to grips with the ramifications of this theory. But once accepted, this theory will accelerate the progress of science and technology."
Me: "Really? How so?"
Enstein: "Because once accepted, this theory will move our technology into the 100th century. We will witness the birth of warp drives, photon torpedos, slip stream and worm hole technology. It is only a matter of time before we build the flux capacitor and travel through time and alternate dimensions."
Me: "Oh, my GOD! Is there anything that we wouldn't be able to do?"
Enstein: "No, this theory opens up infinite possibilities."
Me: "This is unbelievable! Absolutely incredible! But doesn't this theory go against some basic scientific rules?"
Enstein: "Yes, it does. Which are all explained by the corollary of my theory."
Me: "The what?"
Enstein: "The corollary: If more than 93% of a population of trained scientists believe in a theory, then the premise of that theory is dubious."
Me: "You're kidding right?"
Enstein: "No, I'm very serious indeed."
Me: "Wow! Well then I'm no scientist, but I think I like your theory."
Enstein: "Thank you Raj. You are just beginning to undertand the truth of my theory."
Me: "Yeah! So once your theory is proven, I could find myself on a spaceship to Mars, right?"
Enstein: "Yes, you could."
Me: "Sweet! Well, thank you for your time Professor. You have turned me into a pro-Science guy."
Enstein: "The pleasure was all mine. Thank you."

1 comment:

The Phoenix said...

That's funny...great post.

I'm hoping they perfect lightsaber technology. Regular can openers just aren't very efficient.